Interracial Dating can be a tough but fun experience!
So maybe you’re looking to get ready to go out on your first date with an Indian person, or maybe you’re already in love with one! This post was written for young couples, interracial marriages or American-born Indians.
5 tips on dating/marrying an Indian person:
1. We don’t wear the red “dot” everywhere.
We’re not recording anything.
It’s not offensive when someone asks about this, but it’s kind of crazy how often we’re asked about this. First, note that this is something Hindus do– not all Indians. The explanation I know of is spiritual. When we enter places of worship (temples, prayer meetings), oftentimes we will wear a red dot on the middle of our forehead (made of red powder, it washes off easy). Hindus believe that we were given 2 eyes to view the outside world, but this third eye is a reminder to view your inner self before acting upon the world.
Some women from India also wear a dot on their heads everyday as a sign that they are married, a tradition most commonly seen in India.
2. We don’t just eat Indian food (first date advice).
We love trying new places! So, while we can suggest the best damn authentic Indian restaurant you’ve ever been to, we would also love if you asked us out to other types of restaurants– Mexican, Italian, Asian, Greek, whatever!
Tip– if your date is both Indian and Vegetarian, s/he most probably loves Mexican food.
2. We do stay close with our family.
We usually stay home or visit home often while we’re still single. Like all moms and dads, Indian parents also spoil their sons and daughters (respectively). And who doesn’t like to be have their beds made, food cooked and laundry done for them? So, keep in mind that most Indian kids visit home often– set up your weekend dates accordingly!
Don’t freak out if you’re date is 30 years old and living at home with his/her parents! It’s not uncommon for us.
3. We don’t introduce “boyfriends” or “girlfriends” to our families until… the ring is almost on our finger.
You can’t exactly go to that barbecue in his/her backyard, and s/he can’t bring you as a date to that Indian family’s wedding. Even if we’re born in America, a lot of us still have parents that don’t really know what “dating” is. For our parents, when we introduce them to someone, its because we’re super SUPER serious about them. So, we usually won’t introduce who we’re dating unless we’re 100% sure we are proposing to them within the next year/two.
5. We do have Indian parents who really believe in Indian Astrology.
This is commonly known as a “kundli” in Hinduism and it’s where parents see the compatibility of the two young people. Depending on how much the parents believe in this, it could be a deal breaker if your score is too low.
- Want to know more? Here’s how it works: the highest score you can get is a 36 and the minimum score you need to be considered “compatible” is an 18. There are about 6 categories that you get points for and these categories range from: Level of Understanding/Compromise, Attraction, Health, etc. If you get a bad score, find out what the “low” category is and convince the parents that you’ve already worked whatever the problem is out. Another great point to bring up is that the system is an old one (when Indians would get arranged marriages and know nothing about the other), so if you both truly love each other, you’ll get through anything. At the end of the day, you don’t have to believe in it yourself but you also don’t want to be rude. Respect the Indian parents’ beliefs and work with them.
What’s your story with dating interracially– was it a fairytale or a nightmare? Share below!